Post Divorce Mindset Reboots

Five Limiting Thoughts Reframed

 

If you have spent a great deal of time in and out of divorce court and lawyer’s offices you might be feeling a bit weary.  Most of your energy has been directed toward the process. It is in this space that regrets sometimes surface. Now is the perfect time to release any limiting thoughts. Let’s examine some common lingering regrets and replace them with fresh perspectives, new beginnings.

 

 

Regret #1

I stayed too long. Why did I waste so many years in that relationship?

 

Response:

You were in that relationship exactly as long as you were. Things take as long as they take. You are out now.

 

Reboot:

Every year from this point forward is a year where I consciously choose who and what is in my life.

 “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” –  Maya Angelou

 

 

Regret #2

 I deferred pursuing my personal dreams to prioritize him and our goals as a couple.

 

Response: 

You believed in your marriage and your future together and thought your turn would come. You trusted that and were patient.

 

Reboot: 

I’m proud of the contribution and commitment I made to the marriage. I now devote my drive and ambition to realize my dreams.

 

It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~ George Eliot

 

 

 

 

Regret #3

 

I do not have the wealth and assets we had as a couple.

 

Response: 

You were a large part of how that wealth and assets were amassed.

 

Reboot: 

Though the money and assets have been divided, my skills and abilities have not. I will use them to generate additional personal wealth.

 

Abundance is about being rich, with or without money. ~Suze Orman

 

 

Regret #4

 

I can no longer afford the standard of living I enjoyed while married.

 

Response:

There were two incomes, two people supporting that lifestyle. Now that same amount, or less depending on the divorce settlement, is supporting two separate households. This does not mean you will not live well. Think better, not bigger.

 

 

Reboot:

I have the freedom to take whatever space I choose and make it reflect my interests, who I am. I can unleash my creativity to make the perfect nest.

 

 Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. ~Lao Tzu

 

 

 

 

 

Regret #5

 

I’ve lost so many friends.

 

Response:

The marriage is not the only relationship that ends with the divorce. You are now a single person and no longer fit into couples gatherings. Some people will decide they can only continue friendship with one of you. Your pursuit and creation of your new life may make some people uncomfortable. The world is full of people seeking new friends.

 

Reboot:

 

I am going to join some new groups or a new church and open my heart to all. This is my opportunity to create a new tribe. If some people have turned their back on me then it is because they are NOT my people. I seek and embrace my people

 

When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. ~ Reverend T. D. Jakes

Taking a firm grip on your thoughts, replacing unproductive thoughts with ones that move you forward, will give you a jumpstart on creating the life you desire and deserve.